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The author:(作者)delv
published in(发表于) 2014/6/16 23:17:51
32 signs of TA may be in cheating

Think your mate might be cheating? Find out if he is displaying any of the warning signals described by Raymond B. Green, a private investigator and former police officer, and Marcella Bakur, a psychology professor at Marymount Manhattan College. Here, the 32 emotional signs that he is having an affair:
你是否怀疑你的配偶在骗你？找找看他是不是已经表现出一些类似的危险信号（曾是警察现为私家侦探的雷蒙?B?格林和玛利曼曼哈顿学院的心理学教授马塞拉?巴克总结的）。下面我们就来看看他有外遇的32个情感标志：
1. Your mate is more attentive to your needs than usual. This is due to the guilt feelings experienced by the cheater in the early stages of his or her affair. The attention will diminish as the affair continues.
你的爱人比以往更加注意关注你的需要。这是由于在外遇的开始阶段，TA有一种罪恶感。这种关注随着外遇事件的继续会逐渐消失。
2. Your mate begins buying you gifts -- lots of gifts. These are "guilt gifts" purchased because your partner feels guilty about betraying you and showering you with presents makes him or her feel better.
你的爱人开始给你买礼物——很多礼物。买这些“赎罪礼物”是因为TA对背叛你这件事感到羞愧，买礼物可以让TA好过一点。
3. Your mate's behavior is causing a gut feeling in you that something isn't right. If this happens, pay attention to your instincts. Ignoring them means you want to blind yourself to the truth. You know your mate's habits, routines and attitudes better than anybody, so be suspicious when these things change.
你爱人的行为开始让你直觉某些事情不太对。如果是这样，那你一定要注意你的直觉。无视你的直觉意味着你不想知道真相，你在蒙蔽自己。你比任何人都了解你爱人的习惯、日常生活和态度，所以当这些开始改变的时候，要持怀疑态度。
4. Your mate frequently picks fights with you. Doing this gives him reason to get mad and storm out of the house and thus the opportunity to meet a lover. A cheater may also do this because of mixed emotions he is feeling about betraying you.
你爱人经常和你吵架。这样做他就有理由生气，甚而离家出走，这样就有机会见他的情人。要知道，背叛者由于感觉背叛了你而产生复杂的情绪。
5. Your mate constantly talks about your relationship ending when you fight or argue. She says things like, "What would you do if our relationship ended?" or "If anything ever happened to us, I would always love you like a friend." In general, she seems very negative about your relationship. Your mate makes these statements because she has a lover to fall back on if your relationship ends. If your partner repeats these kinds of statements often, be suspicious.
在你们吵架或争论的时候TA总会说结束这段感情的话。比如她会说，“要是我们分手了，你会怎么做？”或者“无论我们之间出现任何问题，我都会像朋友一样爱你。”一般情况下，她会对你们之间的关系变得很消极。你的爱人这样说是因为如果你们分手了，她有备胎可以依靠。如果你的爱人经常说这种话，小心点！
6. Your mate becomes very moody. He or she seems very upbeat and excited when leaving you but acts somber and depressed when around you. If your mate is in a long-term affair, he/she will try to keep both relationships running smoothly. Any problems the cheater has in one relationship will spill over into the other relationship as well. This is inevitable.
你的爱人变得很多愁善感。他/她在离开你的时候兴高采烈，在你身边的时候又无精打采。如果你的爱人有外遇很久了，他/她会尽量试着让这两边的感情都顺利进行。背叛者在这边感情中遇到的问题总是会在另一边感情中重演。这不可避免。
7. Your mate never talks to you. You live together but don't interact. He has become cold and inconsiderate of your feelings.
你的爱人不再对你倾诉。你们共同生活却没有交流。他开始变得冷血甚至无视你的感受。
8. Your mate's taste in music suddenly changes. For instance, she always listened to pop music but suddenly starts listening to country music. Your partner might be listening to and growing fond of this new type of music because her lover listens to it.
你爱人对音乐的品味突然改变。例如，她一般只听流行音乐但是突然开始听乡村音乐。这可能是因为她的情人喜欢某种音乐，便开始对这种音乐感兴趣。
9. Your mate lacks self-esteem. This doesn't necessarily mean he will go out and have an affair, but an insecure individual often looks to others for guidance. If an insecure person's needs aren't being met, he might find the desired feelings of security and positive feedback in an affair with someone else.
你的爱人缺乏自尊。这并不意味着这样就必须有外遇，但是如果一个人没有安全感，就会找其他人寻求保护。如果他的需要没能得到满足，他可能会继续在其他恋爱中寻找安全感和积极的回应。
10. Your mate continually criticizes another person. She is trying to make you think that type of individual would never be of interest to her, although there actually exists a secret attraction.
你的爱人经常对其他人评头品足。她那是在试图让你相信那种人她绝不会感兴趣，尽管这种人在某种层面上对她有很大的吸引力。
11. Your mate criticizes things about you that he or she once found attractive and appealing.
你的爱人会对你身上那些曾经吸引TA的东西反感。
12. Your mate easily becomes offended at the comments, however harmless, that you m

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