If there is no app, you can't go a day? ' -Micro letters, phone control, head-IT information

Before the reading this, might as well do this simple test [1]:

(Order the following topics if the network you are using, please fill out Yes or No)

1, circle of friends, which concentrate on micro-communication activity, line continues to think of Internet cases.

2, felt the need to spend more time using the app can be met.

3, had tried many times to control the use of micro-impulse to the letter, but did not succeed.

4, when attempts to reduce or stop using the app, feel frustrated, depressed mood or temper impatient.

5, time spent in the letter longer than expected.

6, will be to use the app and would rather risk an important relationship, work, education, or the risk of job losses.

7, to family, friends or others lied to conceal rely on micro-level.

8, uses the letter to escape problems or to relieve feelings such as helplessness, guilt, anxiety or depression.

If the question, five answered "Yes", and the symptoms may continue for some time has a tendency to micro-dependent.

We then discuss why there is such a situation, and how can we freely use the app without being micro-life?

§ Network utopia?

Looking to the 21st century, computers and networks (Internet) research pioneer Alan Kay has two quotes: one is the " best way to predict the future, is to create the future ", and the other one is "the software really is interested in people, and the hands to create hardware".

When everyone now has a machine, the Internet is filled with filled in details of our life anytime, anywhere. Kay was not predicted, when he look ahead to the future of life, but also changed the look of our lives. People use the Internet, has become conjoined, and even United States Psychiatry learned to consider "Internet addiction" in the diagnostic and Statistical Manual of mental disorders (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders).

In order to solve this "problem", Western scholars to study, explain how people become a slave to network, particularly severe dependency on social software, like Facebook or micro.

However, should we regard it as a "diseases", "problems"? At least in my opinion, these words are emphasized unusual side, but in my opinion with "addiction" or "dependent" is more in line with the general situation of the majority.

We just use the app brought some impact on lives, occasionally brushing his head, influence business-like people occasionally have a small cold – it does not mean that we can't live without the app.

§ Why it is hard to put down the app?

In General, the network of four psychological environment has its own unique characteristics (Wang Zhihong, 2004, Li Weibin, and Wang Zhihong, and Chen Qingfu, 2002) [2], resulting in our online community activities stop. Readers may wish to examine itself whether be unusable due to the following four:

Anonymity

We can micro-blogging, micro-select open or hide our personal information, which allows us to feel better with the case, does the greatest degree of expression. Don't have a boyfriend, or can print a bunch of seemingly happy pictures. Or groups, complained to work colleagues hate relationships on the job.

The low social presence of the network. App has a similar real-world interpersonal interactions, such as communication, but still dependent on a limited number of uses, and interaction each user deliberately contrived way, reality is not high. Photorealistic high results, is that people will not get any sense in the real world, usually because of the sense of morality, civility and to maintain image and did not dare say, in wanton out on the network. So when we are attracted to a person on the Internet or bad feeling, are likely to be amplified feeling because we are more likely to put their emotions (likes and dislikes) projection and fantasy.

Virtual sex

Real life could not be repeated, in accordance with what we mean to build, but the virtual online community, our own sense of the real world cannot progress in social activities, role play. We can change sex, occupation, through photos, and even ways to disguise their identity, to meet our difficult addiction. But behind the benefits of virtual sex, might get too addicted people can not tell the real and the virtual boundaries. Give up in ideals, motivation to change the plight of real-world practice, engaged in a virtual social networking brings satisfaction.

Convenience

Convenience generally has three aspects: the use environment, tools, use, and to meet the demand. A mobile app, we can anytime, anywhere, through accessible hardware, instantly eliminating when we lack in emotion, curiosity, and feel. This is the significance of networks, enables us to and not much more far-reaching and people around the world are linked.

Long-distance love letters in the past, and protracted. Now just miss each other, use app will instantly solve suffering. Similarly, we are eager to receive, or how his group was disturbed by positioning, micro-circle of friends, we settled we can send or receive information. But on the other hand, we also became subject to attacks of negative energy by various.

Jump

Network opens up new languages, app has changed people's way of life. Through our new text, interactive, allows us to get more freedom in thought, but also because you want to learn and adapt to meet new trends allows us to continuously micro-letter culture and culture in real life, trying to find a harmonious way. Like for some people, the app is a tool for business; but for some people, the app community on more hot than real-life community, and when these people use language in small communities on the app, for most people in the real world, both strange and unable to communicate.

§ Micro-problem? '

Opened the Taiwan Ministry of education at addicted to network young people develop guidance books [3], we can easily find the current counseling and guidance-oriented, is not attributed to a network, or a single Web site or app. All the cases are centered around a problem, that is, "solitude", or emotional satisfaction.

Stephen Chow in the movie Wu Zhuang Yuan Su Qi-er, one scene is: Emperor dreaded Su Qi-er head of forces, expressed his concern regarding the Su Qi-er. Su Qi-er said, "If you are really wise, who also want to be beggars. ”

When we meet emotional needs in real life, when we are alone, and no one company, we will need to look for a consolation, one outlet. The four characteristics of the network, so we easily get warm. Compared to the real trouble with building a relationship, or disappointed time and time again, and finally we choose more likely to be happy, this logic is consistent with common sense.

"Addicted," modern studies also show a way is not far from the items, like get rid of app is to put the app. But to see dependent behind, in the end what we really need is, what is the higher value of our loss?

Johann Hari of the addiction many years cited two examples in the TED speech [4], early for cocaine in mice when caged rats with only pure water and water can choose cocaine, coca base were most rats will choose to add water, so zoologist inferred addiction to cocaine are easy to make. However, Vancouver University Professor Bruce Alexander was new experiment, overturned the earlier conclusion.

Many mice in cages with live, Alexander, and give them toys and comfortable environment, as well as the mice had a free room for socializing, mating. Results no mouse will also go to drink water with cocaine, emotional because mice have been met, without the solace of drugs.

§ Hold true we

If you feel you are micro or community software to control life, I suggest you take the bottom, to make a change in life. These changes are not going to let you out of control, but so that we can regain our true human interaction and emotion:

Set a specific itinerary of life: for example, from 8 to 9 points to concentrate on work, an hour that do not use a mobile phone. If had a habit of brushing Mail got up, changed to wash first, then open the phone.

Ideas, calculating gains and losses: on the one hand specific app caused your life impact and negative effects the writing, posted in a visible place, remind yourself why you want to change. App does not use time on the other hand, to be used to achieve life goals written down, posted in a visible place, remind us of meaning and value. Like you used to because of frequent micro-letter, missed the opportunity to care for children at the dinner table, you can write it down, remind yourself after work today, to talk to kids.

Diversified life when living single, people tend to continue to use the familiar pattern, "point to point" to life-Home Office-will give us new life habits. If we want to eat instant noodles themselves regularly, you can slowly reduce the frequency of eating instant noodles, then we need to try something you haven't tried dinner, more choices for themselves, rather than always makes the noodles become the first option in the brain. And we develop each new mode of life, and includes the possibility of developing new relationships.

Search for friends and family, community assistance: most of the time we are alone in the fight, it's very tiring, ineffective. Micro-fridge cake porn racks, calling for us, as long as open to instant gratification. We need to find at least one trusted person, sharing with him our situation, take the initiative to request his help. He went out for a walk, or to share in a mutual aid group, to work together. Tried to solve the problem, the easier it will return to the loneliness of the individual.

Rather, all attempts are designed to make us find the true sense of the life.

Taiwan recently has a buzzword called "stratosphere". Its allusions from legislation members election zhiqian, some support a, party of friends thought a, party will has many candidates Shang legislators, results out is poor, they review behind of reasons, is will and they concern, and discussion, for they of statement click like of friends, all is a, party of supporters, so this in psychological Shang caused a illusion, seems many people are support himself of party, support himself of concept. But in fact only a small group gathered together for warmth causes the illusion of this illusion is no way to change reality.

We are easily found on the Web a "stratospheric" community, make friends.

Facebook, micro, the popularity of community software, like link gave rise to unprecedented heights. But as the Johann Hari stated, "when you get into a crisis, you will find the help you are not friends on Facebook, but those who are flesh and blood friends. ”

Micro letter lost behind is embodied in our emotional needs are not being met.

So the way to solve the problem is not in the virtual world, but to return to the real world is not abandoning micro letter but return the value, and media tools to solve problems.

We are lonely, but mistakenly links to others, meet the emotional tools, mistaken for a purpose.

But in the real world, people's emotional needs clear, we will liberate brushed micro-hand and instead hold true in reality a pair of hands. When in reality, we get from skin to convey inner warmth, we don't have on the cold screen looking for virtual body temperature in the CPU heat sink.

[Language] we don't have to leave the app, but we have to make the app just as a part of life, but life is not all.

[1] adapted from National Chung Cheng University Counseling Center's "Internet addiction" tests.

[2] Wang Zhihong (2008). Cause analysis of Internet addiction and counseling strategies. Guidance quarterly, 44 (1), 1-12.

[3] Ministry of education mentoring program reality and fiction books: Internet addiction counseling.

[4] Johann Hari: Everything you think you know about addiction is wrong.

如果没有微信，你的日子就过不下去了么？ - 微信,手机控,低头族 - IT资讯

阅读本文前，不妨先做一下以下这个简单的测验[1]：

（依序下列题目，若符合您使用网络的状况，请填写Yes 或No）

1、曾全神贯注于微信通信、朋友圈活动，下线后仍继续想着上网时的情况。

2、觉得需要花更多时间使用微信才能得到满足。

3、曾努力过多次想控制使用微信的冲动，但并没有成功。

4、当企图减少或是停止使用微信，会觉得沮丧，心情低落或是脾气易躁。

5、花费在微信上的时间比预期的还要长。

6、会为使用微信且宁愿冒着重要的人际关系、工作、教育或工作机会损失的危险。

7、曾向家人、朋友或他人说谎以隐瞒依赖微信的程度。

8、使用微信是为了逃避问题或者释放一些感觉诸如无助、罪恶感、焦虑或沮丧。

若上项问题中，有五项回答为“是”，且症状持续一段时间就可能有微信依赖的倾向。

下面我们接着探讨，为什么会有这样的情况，我们又该如何才能自在的使用微信，不被微信影响生活？

§ 网络乌托邦？

放眼21世纪，计算机与网络（互联网）研究先驱，Alan Kay有两大名言：一是“预测未来最好的方式，就是去创造未来”，另一是“对软件真的有兴趣的人，也该动手打造硬件”。

当现在人手一机、互联网充斥随时随地充斥在我们生活的细节。Kay没有预测到的是，当年他遥想的未来虽然带来生活的便利，却也改变了我们生活的样貌。人们从利用网络，成了网络连体婴，甚至美国精神医学学会考虑将“网络成瘾”列入《精神疾病诊断与统计手册》（The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders）。

为了解决这个“问题”，中西方都有许多学者进行研究，说明人们如何成了网络的奴隶，尤其是对社群软件的重度依赖，像是Facebook或微信。

然而，我们是否应该将其视为一种“疾病”、“问题”？至少在我看来，这些用语都过份的强调异常的一面，但在我看来用“沉迷”或“依赖”更符合一般多数人的处境。

我们只是因为使用微信对生活带来了一些影响，偶尔刷过头，影响正事──就像人偶尔得了小感冒──但不等于我们没有微信就活不下去。

§ 为什么我们很难放下微信？

一般而言，网络环境有其特殊的四项心理特性（王智弘，2004；李伟斌、王智弘、陈庆福，2002）[2]，造成我们对网络社群的活动欲罢不能。读者不妨自我检视自己是否因为以下四项而无法：

匿名性

我们可以任意在微博、微信选择公开或隐藏我们的个人信息，这让我们能够在比较有安全感的情况下，做最大程度的表达。没有男朋友，还是可以晒一堆貌似幸福的照片。或是通过群组功能，对工作同事以外的人抱怨工作上讨厌的人际关系。

网络的社会临场感较低。微信虽然有着沟通等类似真实社会的人际互动，但终究还室依赖有限的使用方式，以及每个使用者刻意造作的互动方式，真实感不高。真实感不高的结果，就是人们不会拿出在真实社会中的责任心，平常会因为道德感、礼貌、维持形象而不敢说的话，在网络上肆无忌惮的说出来。所以当我们在网络上对一个人有好感或恶感，都可能因此而放大感受，因为我们更容易将自己的情感（无论好恶）投射和幻想出去。

虚拟性

真实人生无法重来，无法按照我们的意思打造，但虚拟的网络社群，我们可以按照自己的意思去进行真实世界无法进展的社交活动，进行角色扮演。我们可以改变性别、职业，甚至通过照片等方式伪装自己的身份，满足我们难以实践的癖好。但虚拟性好处的背后，可能会让过份沈迷的人分不清真实与虚拟的界限。放弃在真实世界实践理想、改变困境的动力，投身于虚拟社交带来的满足。

方便性

方便性一般有三方面：使用环境、工具使用和满足需求。一个手机app，能够让我们随时随地，通过触手可及的硬件，即刻的消除我们在情感、好奇心等方面匮乏时的感受。这是网络存在的重大意义，让我们得以和无远弗届的和世界各地的人们进行连结。

过去异地恋书信往返，旷日费时。现在只要想念彼此，用微信就能马上一解相思之苦。同样地，我们渴望受到他人肯定，或是对于自己在群体中如何被定位有所不安，通过微信的朋友圈，我们能够马上送出或接收让我们安定的信息。但另一方面，我们同样变得随时可能被各种负能量袭击。

跳脱性

网络开启了新的语言，微信改变了人们的生活方式。我们通过新创的文字、互动方式，使得我们获得更多思想上的自由，但也因为要学习与迎合新的潮流，使得我们不断的在微信带来的文化和现实生活中的文化，试着找出一个和谐相处的方式。好比对某些人而言，微信是拓展生意的工具；但对某些人而言，微信上的社群比起真实生活中的社群更热络，进而当这些人使用微信上小社群使用的语言，对现实世界多数人而言，既陌生，又无法沟通。

§ 问题出在微信身上？

翻开台湾教育部针对沈迷网络青少年编定的辅导丛书[3]，我们不难发现现今心理咨询的辅导面向，并不是将问题归咎到网络，或者单一的网站或app。所有的个案都围绕一个问题展开，就是“孤独”，也就是情感面的满足。

周星驰电影《武状元苏乞儿》中，有一幕是：皇帝忌惮苏乞儿的丐帮势力，对苏乞儿表示了他的忧虑。苏乞儿说：“如果您真的英明神武，谁还愿意当乞丐。”

当我们在现实生活中满足不了情感的需求，当我们孤独的时候没有人陪伴，我们自然会需要寻找一个慰藉，一个出口。网络的四项特性，让我们轻易的得到温暖。相较现实中建构一段关系带来的麻烦，或者一次又一次的失望，最后我们选择更容易得到的快乐，这个逻辑完全符合常理。

对于“瘾”，现代研究也显示解决问题的方法并非就是远离那个物品，就像戒除微信就是丢开微信。而是要看见依赖背后，到底我们真正需要的是什么，是什么更高的价值被我们抛失？

对成瘾有多年研究的Johann Hari在TED的演讲上举了两个例子[4]，早期对于古柯碱的老鼠实验，当笼子里的老鼠只有纯水跟加了古柯碱的水可以选择，多数老鼠会选择加了古柯碱的水，所以动物学家就推断古柯碱易于使人成瘾。然而，后来温哥华大学Bruce Alexander教授做了新的实验，推翻了这个早期结论。

Alexander让许多老鼠一起在笼子里生活，并且给他们玩具、舒适的环境，以及老鼠们自由社交、交配的空间。结果没有老鼠还会去喝加了古柯碱的水，因为老鼠们的情感得到满足，便不需要药物的慰藉。

§ 拥抱真实的我们

如果你觉得自己被微信或某项社群软件控制了生活，我建议你同时采取底下方法，为生活做出一点改变。这些改变不是要让你受控制，而是让我们都能重拾真实的人际互动与情感：

设定一个具体的生活行程表：譬如8点到9点专心工作，那这一个小时就不要使用手机。假使本来有起床就刷Mail的习惯，改成先去洗漱，再开手机。

把想法具体化、计算得失：一方面把微信造成自己生活的具体影响和负面效益写下来，贴在醒目的地方，提醒自己为什么要改变。另一方面把不使用微信的时间，要用来做到哪些生活目标也写下来，贴在醒目的地方，提醒我们这么做的意义和价值。好比你曾经因为频繁使用微信，错过在餐桌上关心孩子一天情况的机会，你可以把它写下来，提醒自己今天下班后，要好好跟孩子相处。

开发多元的生活内容：当生活过份单一，人们往往会继续采用熟悉的生活模式，“点对点”的生活──家里到办公室──会让我们难以转换新的生活习惯。好比如果我们希望经常吃泡面的自己，能够慢慢减少吃泡面的次数，那么我们就需要去尝试一些没有试过的餐点，让自己因为有更多选择，而不至于每每让泡面成为脑中的第一选项。并且我们开拓的每个新的生活模式，都包含拓展新的人际关系的可能性。

寻求亲友、团体协助：很多时候我们一个人在抗争，那很累人，效果不彰。微信彷佛冰箱里的蛋糕、柜子里的A片在呼唤我们，只要打开就能立即满足。我们需要找至少一位信任的人，和他分享我们的情况，主动请求他的帮助。跟着他出去走走，或在一个互助团体中彼此分享，共同努力。越是想一个人解决问题，就越容易回到个体的孤独感。

毋宁说，这一切的尝试，都是为了让我们找回真实生活的感觉。

台湾近期有个流行语叫“同温层的朋友”。其典故来自立法委员选举之前，某些支持A政党的朋友以为A政党会有很多人选上立委，结果出来却差强人意，他们检讨背后的原因，在于会和他们关注、讨论，为他们的发言点击喜欢的朋友，全都是A政党的支持者，所以这在心理上造成一个假象，好像很多人都支持自己的政党，支持自己的理念。但实际上只是小团体聚在一起取暖造成的假象，而这个假象没有办法改变现实。

我们很容易在网络上找到一个“同温层”社群，结交这些朋友。

Facebook、微信，社群软件的普及，好像给人们带来前所未有的高度连结性。实则诚如Johann Hari所说，“当你遇上危机，你会发现能助你一臂之力的不是脸书上的朋友，而是那些有血有肉的朋友。”

微信沈迷的现象，背后体现的就是我们在情感上的需求没有得到满足。

故解决问题的方式不在虚拟世界，而是要回归真实世界；不在抛弃微信，而是让工具回归工具该有的价值，工具是解决问题的媒介。

我们寂寞，却误把联系他人，满足感情的工具，误认为是目的。

唯有把真实世界中，人们的情感需求搞清楚了，我们自然就能解放刷微信的手，转而握紧现实中真实的一双又一双的手。当我们在现实中获得来自肌肤，传达自内心的温暖，我们才不用在冰冷的屏幕上去寻找cpu散热下虚拟的体感温度。

[解语] 我们不用离开微信，但我们得让微信仅仅做为生活的一部分，而不是生活的全部。

[1]改编自国立中正大学辅导中心的“网络成瘾”测验。

[2]王智弘（2008）。 网络成瘾的成因分析与辅导策略。辅导季刊，44(1)，1-12。

[3]教育部辅导计划丛书 现实与虚幻：网络沉迷辅导。

[4]Johann Hari: Everything you think you know about addiction is wrong.