Why was warm and chatty online, in reality, apathy man? -IT information
Friends on the Internet, if developments to offline, base is an interesting thing. The variety of talk show, no lower limit on the Internet broken honour, who seemed always full of vitality, now sits in the corner, sit, unfailingly to jump out, the situation was rather embarrassing. Maybe unable to present you with the enduring image on the network side, bearing the guy on.
? Network with map
Why there is such a dramatic change? Just got cable from the line next, they seem to talk past each other on the Web very joyous corruption is just a dream when sleeping. Exactly what kind of magic that was walking by the same person with a different face?
I'm not trying to keep anything from you, I just want to be honest with yourself.
To be honest, not everyone can truly show themselves in real life, some people need to keep many things, capabilities, and environment around integration, from being destroyed. In this case, because there is no naked and touch the real you, actually we don't know who they are, just know it's not like real live hard and isolating themselves.
It is said, this man is not in the network a costly effort to shape or play yourself, on the contrary, it doesn't take much, and would have been happy to show it; when using the network ID to socialize, not to cheat or tease each other, but, in the process, find out who we are.
I was accepted in more "me" get along with you.
Reality is a projection of the inner world. "I" is in reality only indifference is very quiet, because "I" feel too bad in the inner world, not accepted by others. Thus, the "I" look out world, without my shelter. "I" never think that they are beautiful, cute, always think of others because of their poor milk, fat, thick legs, moles, skin color and turn themselves away, but we know nothing about real ideas of others, we are only interested in their own victimization fantasies, others refused to us, before rejecting them.
But in the network, are not entities, I can create a more accepted by the own self. We might spend a lot of time to think about the Internet nickname, when head of the picture look like, look good in-game avatar, we slowly squeezed out of self-acceptance. And when the ideal name, avatar, avatar links to our own time, our inner world changes, began to believe that he would be accepted by others.
This is a Cinderella of story, in no crystal shoes and gorgeous clothing zhiqian, she is no courage to Prince of ball, because she think she even Palace of door are into not to, Prince also not accepted she, and even even front are not look she; but Dang Magic began entered into force Shi, Cinderella stepped on with Crystal shoes like a Princess as admission, she granted to think all people will accepted she, including Prince zainei. She cracked the most beautiful smile, everyone swoon.
We also rely on a network of magic, with his "slipper", then have more accepted by the own self-image, so we could warm and talkative, not refuse others with indifference and silence.
If you don't see the beauty of me, that's just your turn the wrong way.
Sullivan's interpersonal theory suggests that aspects of people in different situations in interaction with others is stimulated. It's actually very easy to understand, you can be a gentle man, but when faced with unjustified abuse of another person in the street, you can't help but swell red and tear him; you can be a grumpy and anxious person, but you can also treat was a tender and rich insight into calm down.
We depend on input from others is how to deal with and respond to our, and whether was understood and accepted.
In reality and growth in the, we may have not to understanding and appropriate of response, around of environment may everywhere diffuse with ignorance, and taboo and down, you no similar to throws, you only with himself depended on each other, that this reality how can get a most beautiful moving of "I", a enthusiasm talkative of "I", "I" of indifference man is not a deserved of "part" did?
But best treated by the network of similar "I" understand "me" thoughts and feelings, they appreciate the "I" was described as useless in a real talent and humour, they do not question me "you learn what use is this, what do you think, what do you play this", instead they are happy to play with me. As a result, they can be DOE I, a passionate me.
Reality is not necessarily true, it's false, some with false ideas and false feelings to form a false self catering to a he created all sorts of environments and networks can be very real, in addition to the name and appearance, he put all his grievances, and his and the world's most unreservedly expressed the sincere love.
(The writer is practicing therapist)
为什么有人网上热情健谈，现实中却冷漠寡言？ - IT资讯
互联网上的好友，如果发展到线下的话，面基是个有趣的事儿。那个在网上百般聊骚、无下限破廉耻、似乎永远元气满满的人，可能现在却在角落坐着，正襟危坐，惜字如金地往外蹦话，场面一度尴尬。也许你无论如何也无法将眼前人跟网络上那个挥斥方遒的家伙对上号。
▲网络配图
为什么会有这种戏剧性的变化？只是从线上聚到了线下，就好像彼此过去在网上的言谈甚欢只是一场贪眠时的美梦。网络到底具备了什么样的魔力，让同一个人以截然不同的面目行走其中？
我不是想对你隐瞒，我只是想诚实地面对自己。
坦白讲，并不是所有人都能在现实生活中真实地展现自己，有些人需要压抑很多内心的东西，才能和周遭的环境相融，才能免遭摧毁。在这种情况下，因为没有袒露和触摸过真实的自己，实际我们也不知道自己是谁，只是知道不喜欢现实中活得僵硬而隔离的自己。
这是说，在网络中的这个人不是一个花费很大力气去塑造或者扮演的自己，相反的是，这没有费什么周折，就愉快地流露出来了；在用这个网络ID去社交的时候，不是为了去欺瞒或者逗弄对方，而是说，在这样的过程，发现了我们自己是谁。
我在用更被接纳的“我”，跟你相处。
现实是内心世界的投影。“我”之所以在现实中只能冷漠寡言，是因为“我”在内心世界里觉得自己太糟了，不会被他人所接纳。也由此，“我”看出去的现实世界，没有我的容身之处。“我”从不以为自己是美丽的、可爱的，总是觉得别人会因为自己的贫乳、肥胖、粗腿、黑痣、肤色而将自己拒之门外，但实际我们对他人的真实想法一无所知，我们只着迷于自身的被害幻想，要在别人拒绝我们之前，先拒绝他们。
但在网络中，人是没有实体的，我可以打造一个更被自身接纳的自己。我们可能会花很多时间去想自己的网络昵称，去搜寻喜欢的图片来当头像，去装扮游戏中的虚拟人物，我们慢慢地捏出自我接纳的模样。而当这个理想化的名字、头像、虚拟人物指向我们自身时，我们的内心世界也发生了变化，开始相信自己是可以被他人所接纳的。
这是一个灰姑娘的故事，在没有水晶鞋和华丽服饰之前，她是没有勇气奔赴王子的舞会，因为她觉得她连宫殿的门都进不去，王子也不会接纳她、甚至连正眼都不会瞧她；但当魔法开始生效时，灰姑娘踩着水晶鞋像一个公主一样入场，她理所当然地认为所有人都会接纳她，包括王子在内。她绽放最美的笑容，所有人都为之倾倒。
而我们也靠着网络的魔法，拥有了自己的“水晶鞋”，继而拥有了更被自身接纳的自我形象，所以我们能热情而健谈，而不是用冷漠和寡言来拒绝他人。
如果你看不到美丽的我，那只是你的打开方式不对。
沙利文的人际关系理论认为，人的不同侧面是在不同的情境下与他人的互动中被激发出来的。这实际很好理解，你平常可能是一个温和的人，但你在街上面对另一个人毫无道理的辱骂时，你也会忍不住胀红脸上去跟他撕；你可能是一个暴躁而焦虑的人，但你也能在一个温柔而富洞察的对待中被安抚下来。
我们的样子有赖于他人是如何对待和回应我们，以及自身是否被理解和接纳。
在现实和成长中，我们可能得不到理解和恰当的回应，周遭的环境可能到处弥漫着愚昧、禁忌和贬低，你没有同类去耳鬓厮磨，你只能跟自己相依为命，那这个现实如何能得到一个最美丽动人的“我”，一个热情健谈的“我”，“我”的冷漠寡言难道不是一个理所应当的“本分”吗？
但网络上的同类恰当地对待了“我”，他们理解“我”的想法和感受，他们欣赏“我”在现实中被斥之为无用的才情和冷幽默，他们不会质疑我“你学这个有什么用，你想这个有什么用，你玩这个有什么用”，相反他们跟我一起愉快玩耍。也因此，他们才能得到雌鹿一般的我，一个热情洋溢的我。
现实不一定是真实的，它可以很假，有些人用虚假的想法、虚假的感受来组建一个虚假的自体来迎合一个对他百般刁难的环境；而网络可以很真实，除了姓名和模样，他把自己所有的委屈，以及对自己和世界最真挚的爱都毫无保留地表达了出来。
（本文作者为执业心理咨询师）